Have you ever come across a simple yet powerful idea that made you wonder why you hadn’t known it before?
That’s what happens when you read “Stress, Appraisal, and Coping” by Susan Folkman and Richard Lazarus.
One key concept from the book is that our perception of potential stressors greatly influences how we cope and adapt. It may seem like common sense, but the real power lies in our ability to see opportunity where others see threat.
Think about successful entrepreneurs who have turned problems into opportunities, while others were overwhelmed by the possibilities.
Folkman and Lazarus discussed how people often appraise stressful situations through two lenses.
First, they consider the potential harm to themselves or their loved ones and how it might affect their job, relationships, or family.
Second, they assess their ability to cope with the stressor. In essence, it’s about recognising that we have the power and choice to view challenges as opportunities for growth and success.
Our appraisal of threat versus opportunity is influenced by factors both within and outside our control. In clinical practice, psychologists often help clients reflect on their belief systems. Can they examine their own thinking?
When clients realise that their beliefs about themselves, others, and the world are often unfounded and biassed narratives from their past (“I’m stupid,” “They don’t really like me,” “I don’t deserve happiness”), they open themselves up to immense potential for change. What once seemed overwhelming can now become opportunities for growth and success.
Are there situations in your life that you’ve been avoiding due to perceived consequences and uncertainty?
It could be a difficult conversation at home or work, starting an exercise routine, learning an instrument, or enrolling in a course. Reflect on why you see these situations as threats rather than opportunities.
If you were to have a conversation with yourself, playing the role of your own best friend, what advice would you give?
Remember, the world around us often reflects our internal world. Once we recognise our own potential, the world becomes filled with endless opportunities.